The process

I never feel like myself nor do I see anyone be who they once were to me, at least that's what I seem to see.
Distorted figures, maybe, the shortness lingers and takes over me.
Why is this sea so blue and deep?
Why does it keep drowning all of the free spirits in me?
I swim back up to the top with no air left in my lungs to breathe, my vision is blurry and I cannot seem to see clearly.
I walk around with my heart in my gut and my soul feels so stuck.
I go no where and I touch no one, I stay in this place and seal the door shut.
Everything is retraced because nothing there could ever be replaced.
It may seem like a safe place to hold my space, but it always leaves a bitter taste in the memories I chase.
I can never shake this feeling so I never feel safe, let alone save any face.
I pace myself so that I may change myself, I grace myself and reach for help.
I take a bow and show them how it's all mine now.